The Phone Your Sticky Thought Exercise: ACT Defusion for BCBAs

"Hey, imposter syndrome, you're still there, right? Yeah, you're still with me. Huh. Well, you know what? I'm giving a talk right now. And, you know, you can come along." That is the exact script Kendra ran live on camera as Practice 5 of the panel's seven Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) practices. She held up her phone, picked a sticky thought, and called it. That is the whole exercise. The rest of this page is how to set it up with a real client tomorrow morning, what the panel said it does, and where it fits in your behavior analytic plan.

What a sticky thought is, in plain words#

A sticky thought is a thought you keep having that pulls you off track. It might feel scary. It might feel mean. It might feel true even when you know it is not. The point is that it sticks. You try to put it down and it climbs back into your head.

Kendra used "I feel like an imposter" as her sticky thought during the live talk. People in the chat threw in their own: rejection. Isolation. Not good enough. Tongue tied. Unfair expectations. These are the kinds of private events ACT calls interfering verbal behavior. In ACT terms, defusion is the skill of changing how that verbal behavior controls what you do next. It is one of the two left-side moves on the hexaflex. The other is willingness, which the panel called "letting things in."

For BCBAs new to this language, defusion is a fancy word for "step back from the thought so it stops yanking you around." That is it.

Pick up the phone: the full script Kendra used live#

Here is the setup, the call, and the close, lifted from the recording so you can run it the same way.

Step 1, prime the target thought. Kendra said it like this:

try to think of your private verbal behavior today or maybe in the last hour even. And if you're willing, try to think of a thought or feeling that you've experienced that's a bit sticky or caused you to feel a certain way, maybe fearful or another type of emotion. From the talk — the panel

Step 2, ask consent and pick up the phone. Hand the client their phone. Or, if they are little, hand them a toy phone or a banana. The prop matters less than the act of pretending to dial.

Step 3, make the call. Out loud. Kendra modeled it, talking to "imposter syndrome" like an old friend who just walked into the room. Greet the thought. Acknowledge it is there. Tell it you are going to keep doing what you are doing. Invite it to come along.

Step 4, hang up.

That is the whole script. The first time you read it, it sounds silly. Run it once in your own car before a session and it stops sounding silly.

Why this works better than pushing the thought away#

The panel asked the room why they were doing this. The audience named it themselves:

Why am I asking you to phone that sticky thought? Any ideas? Confront it. Okay. All right. Noticing it. Sure. Separating from it a little bit. Yeah. Creating distance. Diffusing. Yeah. From the talk — the panel

That is the mechanism in plain audience words. You notice the thought. You separate from it. You create distance. The thought is still there. You are just no longer welded to it.

Kendra then gave the panel's metaphor for why suppression does not work:

I think of trying to keep a beach ball underwater. You ever try that when you're maybe in a pool or something? The more you try to push it down or make it go away, the more it pops up or shows itself when you maybe least expect it. From the talk — the panel

Save that line. It is the one parents and clients remember after the session ends. Calling the thought up is the opposite of holding the beach ball under. You invite the thought in as a passenger instead of fighting it.

Kendra also shared her own before-and-after. Before the call, the imposter thought felt sticky. After the call, she said she felt "a little more funny" and "a little more humor." The thought did not vanish. Her relationship to it loosened. That is the realistic outcome. Tell your client that up front so they are not waiting for the thought to disappear.

How to set it up with a client in session#

A short pre-flight before the call works better than diving in cold. Try this order.

First, get informed consent for the activity. ACT in ABA is a procedure like any other. The panel was clear: ask permission at each step. Something like, "I want to try a short exercise with you. It might feel a little weird. Want to give it a try? You can stop any time."

Second, name one specific sticky thought. Do not let the client work from a vague "anxiety." Get a sentence. "Nobody at lunch wants to sit with me." "I am going to mess up the spelling test." "My brother always wins." A sentence gives the phone call something to talk to.

Third, model it once with your own thought. Kendra modeled with imposter syndrome. You can model with "this session is going to run long" or "I forgot to pack a snack." Keep your model honest and small. Big modeled feelings can scare a kid.

Fourth, hand over the phone. Real phone if the client is older. Pretend phone, banana, or block if the client is younger. The motor act of holding something to your ear matters.

Fifth, debrief. Ask what they noticed. Did the thought get louder, quieter, funnier, the same? Take the data. You can put a 0 to 10 sticky rating before and after if you want a number.

That whole sequence runs in about 4 minutes once you have done it a few times.

What to do if the client thinks it feels silly#

Some clients will laugh. Good. Humor is part of the point. Some will refuse. Also fine. Do not push.

If the client says it feels silly, three options work in the room. You can do it together so they are not the only one with the phone up. You can switch from talking out loud to writing what they would say to the thought on a sticky note. You can drop the phone prop and say it in a goofy voice instead, which is the same mechanism. Saying "I am the worst at math" in a cartoon voice creates distance the same way the phone call does.

The goal is the function, not the form. Function is changing the response to the thought. Form is whatever the client will actually do.

Behavior analytic notes: what you are actually targeting#

If you are writing this up for a session note or a prior authorization, here is the BCBA frame.

The target is interfering covert verbal behavior. The panel was direct that "I want my client to be defused" is not a behavior analytic goal. Defusion is the procedure. The goal is a measurable change in the client's behavior in the contexts where the sticky thought was getting in the way. Lunchroom seat selection. Spelling test attempts. Sharing the controller with the sibling. That is the behavior you take data on, before and after you introduce the phone exercise.

The procedure connects to several Fifth Edition Task List items the panel called out. G6 (instructions and rules) covers the rule-constricted behavior the sticky thought is producing. G20 (self-management strategies) covers the client doing this on their own between sessions. G22 (maintenance) covers programming the phone exercise into the home routine so the skill does not vanish after discharge.

For ethics, build competence with ACT before you run it. The panel was firm on this. Attend training. Practice on yourself. Use understandable language with families. Get consent at each step of the procedure.

When to skip this exercise#

Skip it if the client cannot relate two things arbitrarily. The panel's flowchart starts with the question of whether the person engages in arbitrarily applicable relational responding. If the answer is no, you go back to direct contingency management. Calling up a thought requires verbal behavior the client may not yet have.

Skip it if there is no direct contingency plan in place. ACT is the indirect side of the chart. The panel was clear that you always come back to the left side: direct contingency management is where you begin and where you end. The phone exercise is a tool you reach for when a function-matched direct intervention is not enough on its own.

Skip it if the sticky thought is about active harm to self or others. That is a clinical referral, not an ACT defusion exercise.

Frequently asked questions#

What age can I use the phone your sticky thought exercise with?

The panel used it with adult learners in the room, and Kendra has used a related variant in her case work with kids. A practical floor is wherever the client has tact and intraverbal repertoires strong enough to name a thought in a sentence and reply to it. Many 7 and 8 year olds can do this with a toy phone and a modeled example. For younger kids, the "have to monster" variant the panel mentioned in Tom's case with Juan and Carlos works better. Say the sticky rule in a goofy voice instead of phoning it.

Is the phone exercise the same thing as the "leaves on a stream" defusion exercise?

Same goal, different form. Leaves on a stream asks the client to picture each thought floating away on a leaf. The phone exercise asks the client to pick up and greet the thought instead. Both create distance between the client and the thought. Pick the form your client will actually do. Active kids often prefer the phone because they get to move and talk. Quiet kids often prefer the leaves because they get to sit and picture.

Do I need informed consent before running an ACT defusion exercise with a client?

Yes. The panel was clear that consent at each step is part of doing ACT inside the BCBA ethics code. For minors, that means assent from the client and consent from the caregiver. Document it in your session note. A line like "Client agreed to try the phone exercise after procedure was explained" is enough.

Try one this week#

Pick one sticky thought of your own. Pick up your phone. Call it. See what changes. Then watch the full talk and steal the rest of the seven practices.