Process-Based Life vs Outcome-Based Life
Presented by Kaitlin Wilder
This event reviews ACT as a process-based therapy and how that applies to living life in real world as a human and BCBA. The events uses real life examples and experiential exercises to help participants deepen their ACT knowledge with applied practice rather than examining theoretical concepts so that you can truly "relate" to the material.
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About this CEU
This event reviews ACT as a process-based therapy and how that applies to living life in real world as a human and BCBA. The events uses real life examples and experiential exercises to help participants deepen their ACT knowledge with applied practice rather than examining theoretical concepts so that you can truly "relate" to the material.
Credits
1 CEU · 50 min
From the talk
What was covered
Kaitlin Wilder on why outcome-chasing burns out behavior analysts, and the values paperwork that shifts them to a process-based life.
- Pick ten values this week, then write your own definition for at least one of them.
- Rate the twelve areas of life twice: once for importance, once for the time they get now.
- Treat every gap between those two ratings as a place to set goals, not as a failure.
- When a problem spikes, pause and ask whether your next move serves a value.
- Journal one day ninety days out and describe it by how it feels, not by what you finish.
- Expect your attention to wander during quiet work, and walk it back without a verdict.
What an Outcome-Based Life Looks Like for a Behavior Analyst
Most of us were trained to chase outcomes. Kaitlin Wilder calls that an outcome-based life. You work to look good, feel good, and be happy. You try to meet social standards. You want other people to see you as good. The target is always some future win.
Wilder named the trap inside that setup. When you chase good, you treat everything else as bad. Bad things start to feel like threats. So you try to shrink them fast. Those moves often hurt your life and fight your own feelings.
She used her own story to show it. After graduate school, she noticed that she did not feel good. Her habits were not healthy either. She changed them in a hurry. She started exercising and lost a lot of weight. She learned to fly and joined the circus. From the outside, that reads like a clean win.
Inside, it was not. Changing the outside does not change what sits underneath. That holds for your body, your job, or a relationship. Wilder calls the whole climb the game of survival.
I actually reached severe burnout while looking rather lovely.
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
Climbing the Adaptive Peak, and Why the Way Down Hurts
ACT (a therapy about values and flexibility) has a name for that climb. Wilder called it the adaptive peak (a high spot with no way down). You seek good. You hope the next step brings the best outcome you can get.
Here is the catch she pointed out. Your mind keeps the path narrow. It tells you there is only one step you can take. So you keep climbing. You expect success and happiness at the top of it.
Then you arrive and look around. You are high on a mountain with no idea how to get down. Getting down is slow, and it is uncomfortable. That is the shape burnout takes for a lot of us.
Wilder hit that peak while her life looked great to everyone else. The outcomes were real. The suffering was real too. Perfection is not a place you can stand on.
And as you're going along that way, your mind is going to make sure that you're very certain that you can only take this one particular step.
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
ACT as a Process-Based Therapy, and as a Way to Live
ACT is a process-based therapy (therapy aimed at inner change processes). Wilder treats it as a way to live, not only a way to treat. A process-based life puts the weight on the journey. She calls that playing the game of life.
In that game, nothing is good or bad. Events are information. You stop forcing and fighting your way up the hill. You pay attention to how you feel while you move.
That is not the same as chasing a good mood. She was clear about this. The aim is to notice your current state. You build that skill first. Then you bring it to the people you serve.
Conventional ABA (applied behavior analysis as usually practiced) made this harder. It has focused on goals and outcomes for years. Thoughts, feelings, and inner processes got left out. Many of us absorbed that as the right way to live.
how you feel along the journey is how you're going to feel when you arrive
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
Give Yourself This Time: Attention Before Content
Wilder opened with an invitation instead of content. Give yourself this time. She used to take CEUs (credits that keep your certification active) with headphones in while doing laundry. She was doing many things at once. She was also missing most of them.
So she asked people to do a little less during this time. Put the distractions away. Open your hands. Let the material land. Then watch what that feels like.
She also looked under the urge to always be busy. For her it was not a personality trait. It was discomfort. It was the thought that she was not productive enough. It was the fear of running out of time.
When your attention runs off, walk it back. The phrase comes from a Steven Hayes ACT exercise about keeping the mind on a leash. Wilder pictures her mind as a puppy that bolts. You go get it and bring it back. You can do that many times, and nothing is wrong.
if you notice your your mind puppy to be gone or whatever animal you choose you just run right over there
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
The Values Assessment: Pick Ten, Then Keep Editing
The rest of the session was paperwork, and that was the point. Wilder started with a values assessment (a list of what matters to you). She defines values as principles or standards of behavior. They are what you judge to be important in life.
Values are not goals. You cannot finish a value. You can only keep moving toward it and lining up with it. That shift matters a lot for people trained to close out targets.
The first task is to choose ten values from a long list. You can add words the list is missing. She gave about five minutes and expected the work to run all week. Your list can change, and she says that is information, not a mistake. People often stop and ask where a value even came from.
Values also give you a question for hard moments. Pause when a problem shows up. Ask whether what you are doing right now serves a value. You can still do things you dislike if they serve something longer term.
They are something you can always be moving towards and aligning with.
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
Define the Word, Not Just the Label
Next comes a step Wilder says most people skip. Define the words you picked. She frames this as the verbal behavior piece (how we use and learn words). You look at what your value word actually means to you.
She used school systems as the example. A PBIS board (a school-wide behavior support plan) lists expectations like respect. Staff rarely sit down and define respect together. So nobody agrees on what it looks like in practice.
The same gap lives inside one person. Pick at least one value from your ten. Write out your definition of it. If that feels strange, start with a dictionary entry that fits. Then add what the word means from your own life.
The reason is practical. In a hot moment, a fuzzy word bends. You can talk yourself into a new meaning of respect in seconds. A written definition holds still while you decide what to do.
And when we're talking about a word like respect you know everybody has a different definition.
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
Twelve Areas of Life: Rate Importance, Then Rate Effort
The next pages use twelve areas of life. First, rate how important each area is to you. Use a one to ten scale, with ten as the most important. Wilder stressed that this is a rating, not a ranking. Several areas can score a ten.
Then go through the same twelve areas again. This time score the effort and time each one gets right now. One means little or none. Ten means most of your effort and time. Go with your gut and try not to overthink it.
Now compare the two pages. Look for the big gaps. An area you rated high that gets little time is a flag. So is an area that eats your week but scores low. Highlight those rows. That is where goal work and values work belong.
After that, she asks for two short lists. Write what you love about your life. Then write what you would call your problems. You do not need ten of each. Problems run hot, and they sit close to something you value.
Problems accompany strong and frustrating feelings.
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
Ideal-Life Journaling and Turning It Into Goals
The last exercise is the one that stalls people. Wilder calls it ideal life journaling. Close your eyes and play a mind movie of one day, ninety days from now. In that day you live closer to the values you just chose.
Describe the day by how it feels. Name the barriers you got past. Say what it looks like once things go the way you want. She gave about eight minutes for this. Writing it down is optional. Sitting with it is not.
Then turn the movie into targets. List the things you want to work on first. For each one, write how you will know it is done. It can be something you see or something you feel. That marker feeds the mindset work that comes later.
Sitting still may feel long and boring. Your mind may run off into the bushes a few times. Wilder says that is information, not a flaw. People who overachieve are not used to quiet time with themselves. She asks for self-compassion instead of a grade. You can also pause the recording and finish the page later.
Most behavior analysts I meet have a challenge thinking up what would be ideal for them
From the talk — Kaitlin Wilder
Common questions
What is the difference between an outcome-based life and a process-based life?▾
An outcome-based life aims at looking good, feeling good, and hitting the next goal. Wilder says that framing turns everything else into a bad thing you have to fix or avoid. A process-based life puts the focus on the journey and on noticing how you feel along the way. Nothing is good or bad in that frame; it is all information you can use.
How does ACT define values, and how are they different from goals?▾
Wilder defines values as principles or standards of behavior, meaning what you judge to be important in life. Goals can be finished and checked off. Values cannot. You can only keep moving toward them and lining your actions up with them.
What is the twelve areas of life assessment?▾
It is a two-pass rating exercise. First you rate each of the twelve areas from one to ten for how important it is to you. Then you rate the same twelve areas for how much time and effort each one gets right now. The areas where the two scores are far apart are the ones worth working on.
Why do behavior analysts burn out even when they are hitting their goals?▾
Wilder points at the climb she calls the adaptive peak. Your mind narrows the path and keeps telling you there is only one next step. You reach the top and find no way down and no happiness waiting. She also notes that conventional ABA trained many of us to track outcomes and skip thoughts and feelings entirely.
Do I have to finish the values paperwork during the recording?▾
No. Wilder set short timers in the session, but she expects the paperwork to continue through the week. She also tells viewers to pause the recording and finish a page in their own time. She treats the document as a work in progress that you revise as your values become clearer.
About the speaker
Kaitlin Wilder teaches ACT-based life coaching to behavior analysts through her program, ABA Actionable. In this session she drew on her own path from graduate school to the BCBA exam (board certified behavior analyst) to severe burnout, and on the ACT work she used to climb back out. She invites participants to share their completed values paperwork with her so she can read it and send notes back.
This summary was generated from the recording’s transcript. Quotes are taken word for word from the talk.
What you'll learn
- 1Participants will be able to: Define ACT as a process-based therapy Define what that means within the context of life Define an outcome-based life and potential “problems” as defined by ACT Define values according to ACT and what that means within the context of life Use experiential exercise to help them define their values within the context of life
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